Being alive is a bless

Hello, I've been having a very tough week. I had sleepless nights. I sprained my ankle and things didn't go the way i wanted it to be. 

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Or maybe, it's that time of the month.

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Yes, i know bad days will pass but it's been moving very slow. 

I just hope things go better the following week. 

Thank you for always being there for me, pumpkin.

Cloud

Everyone has one on it. the creature that follows you everywhere you go.

-I wrote this on 16th of July 2019. I certainly can't recall what was it all about.

Excuse me?

Soo.... 

i haven't updated anything because i completely forgot about this blog since the existence of Facebook and instagram.  

What do you think i should write about? 

love?

life?

lawyering?

Every day

Choices. It’s about to pick up an option to walk away and not look back. Yes. You cannot have the best of both worlds.

It is what we think it is. It’s about choosing to ignore that phone call, and the next one and the next one. It’s about choosing not to call them back. It’s about choosing either an Xbox or an Atari. It’s about choosing your own list of songs to be listened to, it’s about choosing to dance to the song in your underwear or doing something you have never done before or doing something that makes you smile.

Yes… It’s just a process.

It’s there in your everyday life; either in the big things and the little things—in starting to wake up again on the same bed every day... and wearing different kind of dress, and then in removing the negative people in your life and in replacing them with a positive ones.

But of course, there are thousands of setbacks in achieving it.  

Me? I have been through a lot of tough decisions. I regret most of the decisions that I’d made in the past. I was young and gullible. I didn’t know any better: well.. Those are the normal familiar words that I utter to myself on a regular basis. I always use them to justify the choices that I have made in the past.

But anyway, everything happens for a reason. 

As a Muslim, I believe everything happens by the will of Allah. Whatever He wills, happens; and whatever he does not will does not happen. Nobody wants bad things to happen, right? Hence, the lesson to be learned today is that; underestimation the power of choice is a no-no. A bad decision made many times over and over, can have a profound impact on a lifetime, likewise.... for a good decision.

So, 

Bismillah… Just check all that tiny boxes and leave it to Allah.

Happy

Lately, I have rediscovered how it is to be happy again. That's why i'm back. It's such a strange feeling, and the word itself is strange  too, isn't it? I am happy with my new life right now, I am happy with my work--basically, I am happy with everything. Alhamdulillah. 

Happy is ... It is that feeling when you wake up in the morning, you feel like a champion yourself. You see, for me when you work on your passion, your best work will be an extension of who you are. The feeling that you bring back home everyday is important. I don't want to die with an unsatisfied heart, although sometimes I am afraid that I will only end up with broken things. And more broken things. I will always try to be as much efficient when I am in the office, so that that I can get back on everything on time. I know it sounds lame but hey, this is my definition of happiness. 

Yes, I admit sometimes that I don't even know what does happiness look like, sometimes I just get it from a person that I have a major crush on, sometimes the happiness is just from a simple text that he sent to me. This kind of things that sowed a little seed between my rib cage which later it will grow into a garden of flowers and trees and/or garden of eden in me. Man, can you feel me? 

I wish I could describe it by words. But I just cant. It's too strange.